Swag

 

An Ode to the Mommies Everywhere

My parents gave me a beautiful name that I don’t even really get to use anymore, because, in my house, I’m always some derivative of ‘Mommy’, and in my inner circle, that identity of being a mom is always at the forefront. We build play dates and vacations around it. In fact, our schedules revolve around being a mom first.

Once that beautiful bundle shows up, the personal identity you’ve had your entire life changes, and immediately becomes ‘mommy’. You love it, but most often, you are merely trying to survive another day, and get all the things done on your list of “to dos”. As mothers, we put our children first in everything. We ensure they have healthy food, no gluten, and organic everything. We do our very best to expose them to music and the arts. We plan life around naptime even when we run around on fumes. Every part of our essence thrives to make sure they are OK as we constantly neglect ourselves. It’s what we do. It’s who we are.

After a while, our bodies adjust to less sleep, our mommy ears kick in to give us special hearing, and we’ve done our routines so much it’s part- muscle memory and part- trying to remain in the present. We learn to function so well on autopilot that we are often absent in the very places where we are present. We become professional Mombies.

And somewhere around a supermom breaking point, it hits us – who am I? I mean really, who am I outside of being a mom? Am I still the person I was before my first child? What types of things do I like to do that don’t involve glitter, dolls, Tonka toys, Play-Doh, nursery rhymes, and piano lessons? How do moms get their swag back? Well I am so glad you asked!

Whenever I find myself searching for myself and figuring who I AM in the midst of all of the chaos, I am often moved to think of David.  “In the spring of the year, the time when kings go out to battle, David sent Joab, and his servants with him, and all Israel…But David remained at Jerusalem” (2 Samuel 11:1). David made a life-changing decision not to travel with his men for battle.  This was not the norm.  As king, his duty was to accompany his men.  David made a rare decision to forsake his post and his God-given responsibility, a decision that gravely cost David and his family.

This remembrance leads my heart to worship and thank our one true God. When I was not living a life characterized by a love for God, I spent most of my time doing things that served only me.  How great is our God that He has seen fit to give me a post or position in life full of responsibility.  These thoughts are enough to put my heart at ease.  My life is not my own.  The Lord has graciously provided my current life because it is precisely what I need to be made complete in Him.  When my days are harder than what I would like to face, I am reminded that life is a process.  The trials of my days are intended to refine me, not break me.

But these trials certainly leave me in need of a mommy timeout. When the children are napping during the day, before they get up, after they go to sleep for the night, or even with scheduled play dates – let them go to their friend’s home while you renew, refresh, and relax.

These little moments where we take a step back help us become even better mothers – we are more present, feel less like we’re always in a state of sacrifice, and it gives us some of that swag back (that we never really lost).

 

Swag on Ladies

Crying over Milk and Cookies

 

An Epiphany from my Heart

Life is never as picturesque and perfect as the photos. Can I be honest? Family life with five children, though blessed beyond measure is better described as a dramatic comedy (or a horror film…blah)! Throw in homeschooling and you have a real-life tearjerker coming to a theater near you.

This past summer however, the Cotchery family set out to transform their film into the most dramatic fantasy like Chronicles of Narnia on steroids. We were actually going to take a true summer break. In reality though, we simply took a month off from home school. Never in the history of Cotchery Manor Day School have we ever, ever taken a full month off. So for us, this was revolutionary.

Our first adventure was a journey to our most favorite resort in Puerto Rico. We have ventured to this paradise many times before, but this time our experience was quite different. For the first holiday ever, we were all present in mind, soul, and body.

Story time in the most majestic tree house towering brilliantly in the air seemed to be the pinnacle of our voyage. We were surrounded by what seemed like a lush rainforest beautifully decorated with its very own pink pineapple garden.

I will never forget the moment I called from the states to reserve the tree house. This particular tree house, with all of its majesty and charm, is usually for massages, and even has an area exclusive for adult spa guests. I called with the pressures of the long, tough year upon me. But a kind woman answered and the gentle voice granted my special request to have my children have personal use of this incredible space.

This kind concierge even offered to include warm cookies and milk with our reservation. Although it was only cookies and milk, it brought me to tears. Maybe one shouldn’t cry over spilled milk, but I cried over milk and cookies.

The tears were enough to convince me that we all needed a break, a moment to simply be. This moment would begin our wondrous trip. So just like that, we put away our books and pulled out the fun. We felt free during the days of our stay. After our trip we continued with the fun, at our own home. We spent hours in the pool, watered our garden, rode our bikes, ate lots of ice cream, watched turtles, hugged, kissed, and frolicked the day away. Quite simply, we cultivated the wonder within us with a staycation after our vacation.

During my time off, as I basked in the sun, I was reminded to bask in the freedom that I have in the Son, Christ. Whether I am schooling or on the most magnificent vacation, I am free indeed. You and I were both called to be free. We must remain steadfast, and not let any yoke (whether it be homeschooling, or anything else) burden us. In this way, we can enjoy the freedom of the Son shining on us no matter where we are.

“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” (John 8:36)

“For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.” (Galatians 5:1)

 

The Princess and the Pea

Mastering peace within the madness of motherhood

 

Remember that powerful image from the classic tale, ‘The Princess and the Pea’? 

The princess is sky high in the air on layers upon layers of mattresses, and, way down below, in the most inconspicuous fashion, lays the pea. The princess just cannot seem to find comfort between all of the mattresses, and the nagging pangs of the pea.

As a mom, sometimes I can feel as if life has come upon me like a mountain of mattresses. 

Any given day, there are mounds and mounds of things that come between me and my to do list – phone calls and spills and bottles and diapers and misplaced toys and no end to the surprises that stack upon each other like Jenga blocks.

And, one must not forget the pea, nudging and prodding in my back, representing every single unfinished or pending task that there was simply not enough time to do. All of the swirling, spiraling surprises and tasks are ready to frustrate and dismantle my day from the second I wake from the Land of Nod – which can make one raging war of a person in an instant.

In overwhelming moments like these, when I could literally spit nails into the center of a bull’s eye, I am most thankful for the God that I serve. In times of despair, I am reminded that Christ is the Prince of Peace, and as his bride, I am a princess. But, not just any princess, I am the Princess of Peace, and if you are in Christ, my friend, you are too. No matter what’s nudging and prodding at me, or how many mounds of things slap me in the face on a given day, it is during these most stressful times as a mom that I am graciously reminded to “commit [my] way to the Lord; trust in Him; and He will act” (Psalm 37:5). And, I find peace, in spite of the mounds of mattresses, the pea, and anything else that might come my way.

And if, by chance, my stressful day has left any iniquity within my heart, I know to “repent therefore, and turn back that [my] sins may be blotted out, that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord, and that he may send the Christ appointed for [me], Jesus.” (Acts 3:19-20). 

At the end of the day, we are a collection of mere moments – magical, merciful, or menacing, and making the most of them is something we all have been blessed with the power to do.

Live in peace, my sister, and love your children incessantly.